‘Talking about grief doesn’t have to be a burden’, says counsellor

People often avoid talking about grief because they are worried about being a burden to others, a bereavement counsellor said.

Lorna Harrison, a therapist at Trinity Hospice in Blackpool, said discussing grief could be a life-changing experience for those who had not previously opened up about it.

Attitudes to grief in society are similar to those surrounding death, she said, noting that both are often only talked about at times of heightened emotions rather than as a normal part of life.

Lorna said Trinity Hospice, which provides care across the Fylde Coast, offers a safe place in which people can “unlock what’s going on in their head or heart”.

Among those helped by Lorna at the hospice is Joselyn Rae.

When Joselyn lost her mum, she said she really struggled to get dressed and had no interest in life.

Help from the hospice, she said, “opened a new world” for her.

She said: “It is a journey I am enjoying, which doesn’t sound right going through grief, but I find I am a comfort to other people as well now.”

She said Christmas was an important time for people to remember and reflect.

Her advice?

“They wouldn’t want you sad – remember all those memories that you shared together, and it will make you smile.

“It might make you cry but remember them, it will help.”

Lancashire-based funeral director Jack Hollowell thinks attitudes about death may be changing.

Aiming to meet rising demand for non-traditional funerals, Mr Hollowell has bought a fleet of unusual vehicles to carry people on their final journeys, ranging from a Harley Davidson motorcycle hearse to a Massey Ferguson tractor.

“As a funeral director we are always happy for people to come in and have a chat with us,” he said.

“If there’s anything that anybody needs to ask about you can go to any funeral director and everyone is always willing to help.”

Hayley Kay, who works as a funeral celebrant, said: “My job means I meet people who are bereaved and have lost somebody.

“And one of the things that always surprises me is people’s reluctance to talk about grief and loss.

“If you love somebody then you are going to lose somebody eventually, it really is our only certainty.”

Additional reporting by Hayley Kay.

If you, or someone you know, have been affected by bereavement, child bereavement or end of life care, you can find support through BBC Action Line.